Setting and holding firm to boundaries is an essential part of every codependency recovery journey, but it’s a practice most of us need to learn through experience, sometimes over and over again. Hi, I’m Roslyn Saunders, a codependency recovery coach with a mission to lead a global movement to blast away ignorance around the root cause of all addiction and codependency. Let’s explore a little bit about boundaries. What do we mean by them?
It’s probably easiest to explain it this way: when we go outside of our boundaries or we violate the boundaries of others, it can cause resentment, break up relationships, and leave us feeling used, abused, and resentful. In the long term, it can cause disease.
So what are some techniques for setting boundaries?
- One of the most important: never set a boundary you cannot stick to. This means only setting the boundary when you are 100% ready to do so. If you set the boundary too soon, you will be unable to hold firm on it.
- Get your scaffolding in place. By scaffolding, I mean having a coach, mentor, or a safe, trusted someone to help you set and hold your boundaries strong. This is important, especially when setting new boundaries. New boundaries are often not easy to sit with; actually, they can be very, very scary, especially when we’ve been living in an enabling role. Get someone who can support you as you put these new boundaries into place with courage, honesty, and the right support.
When putting our new boundaries in place, we actually spare ourselves a huge amount of heartache. If you feel you need support putting in place boundaries in one or a number of areas in your life, feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or via my website, roslynsaunders.com.au. I know I can help you.
