Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to another week of the Codependency Show. Today, as you would have seen in the title, the topic is “I Feel Like I’m Dying in My Marriage, What Do I Do?” Wow, I’ve had quite a lot of people coming to me, both men and women, who feel like this. They feel like they’re dying inside, overwhelmed by fear, guilt, and shame, even though there may not be any abuse or physical harm involved. It’s about not feeling fulfilled in a marriage, particularly the lack of growth and personal evolution.
I see it all the time – people just existing in their marriages, not truly living. Just the other day, I was chatting with a woman in a shop who had been married for 26 years. When I asked her about it, she said, “Well, it’s not really lovely, but it’ll have to do.” This is precisely what I’m talking about – settling for less and not knowing what else to do.
Today, we’re focusing on those who feel trapped in a marriage or relationship, overwhelmed by fear at the thought of leaving. It’s that small voice in the middle of the night, the one we silence when the alarm goes off at 6:00 AM, and we carry on with our lives on autopilot.
Neuroscience proves that living in a state of unfulfillment and shame is detrimental to our health. I recently spoke to someone whose mother passed away from Alzheimer’s, realizing only afterward that she had been unhappy in her marriage for 25 years. Long-term stress and unhappiness can downregulate genes, leading to disease.
My advice is to find someone – a coach, mentor, or trusted friend – someone outside your family circle with whom you can be honest. It’s about acknowledging your feelings and stopping the self-deception that’s making you sick. There’s a chapter in a book, Chapter 1, page 26, titled “Time to Get Honest,” which I highly recommend.
Remember, if a situation or relationship isn’t fulfilling for you, it’s not serving the other person either. Seek support, express your feelings, and don’t deny your evolved self. Thank you for watching, and have a good week. Please contact me if you need help. Roslyn Saunders Codependency Coach.
