Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of the Codependency Show. Thank you for joining me.
Today, I’d like to share a bit about a question that someone posed to me, which I think might be helpful for you. Special thanks to my friend Katie for bringing it up. Last week, during a conversation about codependency, she mentioned, “The trouble is, Rose, people don’t understand codependency.” This is a sentiment I’ve encountered frequently, where people hesitate to use the term because others may not comprehend it. My response to that is, instead of avoiding the word, we should try to soften it or use alternative language. However, my perspective is that if we don’t use the term, people may never truly understand it.
Katie then asked, “What’s the opposite of codependency?” This question prompted me to consider a valuable concept. The opposite of codependency, as I explained to Katie, is interdependency. In codependency, we can be reliant on people, places, things, drama, and various lifestyle addictions. We become addicted to external factors because we are lost internally or afraid to face necessary changes. This dependence often paralyzes us, preventing any positive actions.
To illustrate this, I’ve created a simple diagram. On one side, we have codependency, where we’re dependent on external factors. To transition from codependency, we often need the assistance of a coach or mentor, someone who can help us confront our stories, excuses, and rationalisations. This process leads us to independence, where we take responsibility for our own happiness, joy, and other aspects of our lives. Building this self-reliance is crucial.
Once we’ve established independence, we can move towards interdependency. In this stage, we can engage with others in a healthy way, making choices based on our well-developed sense of self-worth and independence. It’s important to note that interdependency doesn’t mean complete isolation; we still need connections with others. However, these interactions are now healthy, and we can make decisions about them consciously.
I hope this explanation helps clarify the journey from codependency to interdependency. Feel free to ask questions, and I appreciate your engagement.
