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Hi everyone, welcome back. I am Roslyn Saunders, Co-dependency and Addiction Coach Specialist.

Identifying our feelings: A lot of us who have shut down our feelings, or struggled with codependency, may not have even known what feelings are, or how to feel them. Now, many of us are starting to connect with ourselves and our emotions.

What I want to say is that all feelings are good. We’re emotional beings, and we’re meant to feel. No, we’re not supposed to act out, for example, if we’re angry, we shouldn’t go out and abuse someone. But there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry.

What we want to say is, “I feel angry.” Get excited that you’re actually connecting with your feelings and experiencing them. Seek counselling if you need it, to help process those feelings and manage them appropriately. Take care of yourself while you’re experiencing these emotions. Remember, we can become addicted to the chemicals our body releases in response to these feelings. So when we’re feeling these feelings, it’s important to sit with them, not judge them, and allow the chemicals to release from our body.

For me, I might feel angry one day, happy the next, sad the following day, and then disappointed the day after that. These are all emotions, and they’re all just feedback for us to make changes in our lives, or not.

To help find balance, I use what I call a “feelings wheel”. Anyone who would like a copy, please private message me. I use it to help people identify the feelings they’re experiencing. Did you know, with all the research out there, most people only identify feeling happy, sad, or angry? There are so many other feelings underneath those – disappointed, sad, and many more. It’s okay, it’s actually great, that we feel these emotions.

We know this with little children. They’ll be angry when someone takes their toy, and within a few minutes, they’re back playing with that child again. We also see this with animals. A deer might be paralysed in front of car headlights, but within five minutes, it’s back eating grass.

The thing is, we make it wrong. We make our feelings wrong, and we don’t allow ourselves to process them.

So please, get excited that you are able to identify feelings and feel them. I love it when I feel angry. I’m happy to feel angry! I allow it to process out of me, rather than suppressing it, which I did for most of my life. When we suppress our feelings, it can lead to an existential crisis later in life, where it all comes up for a reckoning. For me, I couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. That was my disassociation, my disconnectedness from myself and my feelings.

Feelings are great. They’re a feedback mechanism for us to make adjustments in our lives. Learn to love your feelings, and learn to feel proud and excited that you are feeling.

Thank you.