Hi everyone, Roslyn here. As a codependency and addiction recovery coach, I often hear from people struggling with what they describe as being “addicted” to someone. It’s a painful place to be, feeling like your happiness, your worth, even your very existence, hinges on another person. You might constantly be checking their social media, obsessing over their moods, and neglecting your own needs in an attempt to please them. If this resonates, you’re likely experiencing codependent behaviours. The good news is, recovery is possible. You can learn how to stop being addicted to someone.
Let’s unpack what this “addiction” really means. It’s not about a substance, but the emotional and psychological dependence on another individual. Just like with substance addiction, this dependency can lead to destructive patterns, including:
- Obsessive thoughts: Constantly thinking about the other person, even when you’re trying to focus on other things.
- Neglecting your own needs: Prioritising the other person’s wants and needs above your own, to the point of self-neglect.
- Walking on eggshells: Constantly trying to avoid upsetting the other person, even if it means sacrificing your own authenticity.
- Fear of abandonment: A deep-seated fear that the other person will leave you, leading to desperate attempts to please them.
- Difficulty setting boundaries: Struggling to say “no” or assert your own needs.
- Low self-esteem: Your sense of worth becomes tied to the other person’s approval.
Sound familiar? If so, please know that you are not alone, and there is a path to healing. Here are some crucial steps to take on your journey to recovery:
- Acknowledge the problem: The first step is always awareness. Recognise that your dependence on this person is unhealthy and is impacting your well-being. Take my Codependency Quiz to gain more insight.
- Understand codependency: Educate yourself about codependency. Learn about its roots, its characteristics, and how it manifests in your life. Understanding the dynamics at play is crucial for breaking free.
- Focus on yourself: Shift your focus from the other person back to yourself. Rediscover your passions, your interests, and your own sense of self. What makes you happy? What are your goals?
- Set boundaries: This can be challenging, but it’s essential. Start small and gradually learn to assert your needs and say “no” when necessary.
- Seek support: Don’t try to do this alone. Reach out to a therapist, counsellor, or support group. Sharing your experience with others who understand can be incredibly validating and empowering. My Codependency Coaching program provides a safe and supportive space to work through these issues.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Recovery takes time and effort. There will be setbacks, but don’t let them derail you.
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms: Learn healthy ways to manage stress and difficult emotions, rather than relying on the other person for validation or comfort.
- Celebrate your progress: Acknowledge and celebrate every step you take on your journey to recovery, no matter how small.
Breaking free from codependency is a journey, not a destination. It requires courage, commitment, and a willingness to do the inner work. But the rewards are immense: greater self-esteem, healthier relationships, and a life filled with joy and authenticity.
If you’d like to explore this further, I offer a codependency quiz on my website. After completing the free codependency and addiction quiz, you can book a free discovery call to discuss your results and see if my coaching services could be beneficial for you. I work with clients via zoom or phone across Australia, including major cities like Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, and everywhere in between. Don’t hesitate to reach out – your journey to emotional well-being starts here.
Warm regards,
Roslyn Saunders Codependency and Addiction Coach Specialist
