The holiday season is often painted as a time of “perfect” family gatherings and endless joy. But for those of us on a journey of recovery from co-dependency, it can feel like navigating an emotional minefield.
I know this feeling well. For many years, the mere sound of a Christmas carol would paralyse me with anxiety. I spent decades hating the holidays because I didn’t know how to protect my peace. Through my own experience, I learned that it doesn’t have to be this way.
Why Boundaries Blur During the Holidays
During times of celebration, it is incredibly easy to let our boundaries slip. We often feel a heavy weight of obligation—to overspend on gifts, to over-eat, to misuse alcohol as a way to “numb out”, or to spend time with people who leave us feeling drained and out of control.
To stay firm, you need “scaffolding”—a support structure that helps you hold your ground when things get difficult.
Building Your Holiday Scaffolding
Here are the strategies I recommend to help you navigate this season with your emotional sobriety intact:
Slowing Down and Reflecting: Take 15 minutes with a pen and paper. Look back at previous holidays and identify exactly what made you feel overwhelmed or desperate. Writing it down is the first step towards change.
Financial Sovereignty: Be clear about your budget. Ask yourself: “Am I buying this gift out of love, or out of obligation?”. Most people don’t want more “stuff”; they want a version of you that isn’t stressed by debt.
Managing Social Obligations: You are not required to spend hours with people you have nothing in common with, even if they are family. Decide ahead of time exactly how much time you are prepared to spend and communicate that respectfully.
Practising Extreme Self-Care: Ensure you are well-fed, sticking with your breathing exercises, and keeping a “safe person” on speed dial for emergencies.
Do Only What is Emotionally Manageable
The most important rule I can share is this: Do only what is emotionally manageable for you. If that means staying for only thirty minutes, that is okay. If it means staying alcohol-free to avoid “adding a match to petrol”, that is a valid and powerful choice.
You have the power to do things differently this year. By setting even small boundaries—improving your situation by just 10% or 20%—you can find a message of hope in the middle of the holiday rush.
Are You Struggling to Hold Your Ground?
If you feel yourself spiralling or you are finding it difficult to get clear on your boundaries, please do not navigate this alone. I am here to help you build the skills and strategies you need to thrive.
Let’s connect for a free discovery call. Together, we can find the courage to help you recover from co-dependency and find your emotional sobriety.
👉 Book Your Free Discovery Call Here
Warm Regards,
Roslyn Saunders
Your Codependency and Addiction Recovery Coach (NDIS Provider)