You spend your days flip-flopping. One moment you’re researching shared holidays; the next, you’re wondering how to pack a suitcase without them noticing. This is the painful, confusing limbo of asking, “Should we break up?” It’s a terrifying question because the answer changes everything, and waiting in this state of indecision can be agonising.
The biggest mistake people make is waiting until a crisis forces the decision. True clarity rarely comes from a screaming match; it comes from recognising subtle, consistent patterns. If you’re feeling a persistent, quiet dread about your relationship’s future, it’s time to listen.
That’s why we’ve created the S.I.G.N.S. framework—seven crucial indicators that your relationship may have run its course and that a break-up might be the healthiest next step for both of you.
The S.I.G.N.S. Framework: 7 Subtle Clues You Can’t Ignore
1. S – Self-Erosion: You’re Losing Who You Are
A healthy, supportive relationship should amplify your best self. If you feel like you’re constantly shrinking, silencing your opinions, or giving up essential hobbies and friendships just to keep the peace, that is a massive red flag that the relationship is draining your identity. You should never have to diminish your light for someone else.
- Key Indicators:
- You dread sharing good news because you fear it might be dismissed or met with criticism.
- You rarely feel like your authentic self when you’re around them.
- You’ve given up important dreams or interests because they weren’t supported.
2. I – Irreconcilable Futures: The Long-Term Vision Clashes
This isn’t about minor disagreements over paint colours. This is about core, non-negotiable life goals: views on having children, desired location, career ambition, or fundamental ethical and financial values. If you’ve been “hoping” they’ll change on a deal-breaker issue—or vice versa—you are setting yourself up for deep, inevitable disappointment.
- Key Indicators:
- You actively avoid talking about the next 3-5 years because the conversation is too stressful.
- You have fundamentally different views on major issues like marriage, family, or faith.
- You are settling on your life vision because you’re afraid to challenge theirs.
3. G – Gravitational Pull: You’re Staying for the Wrong Reasons
It’s important to distinguish between love and inertia. Are you staying because the relationship is genuinely fulfilling, or because of powerful external forces? Fear of being alone, financial codependency, or the “sunk cost fallacy” (all the time/effort you’ve already invested) are common, but they are not reasons to stay. They are fears masquerading as commitment.
- Key Indicators:
- Your primary reason for staying is “fear of being single” or “fear of starting over.”
- You are mostly concerned about what your family, friends, or social circle will think.
- You believe you are the only one who can “fix” or help your partner become a better person.
4. N – Non-Existent Support: The Emotional Bank is Empty
When a crisis hits, or even when you just have a truly bad day, do you feel safe and supported? A relationship requires a strong emotional foundation. If your partner is consistently absent, critical, or makes your problems about them, the foundation of trust and reliance is actively eroding.
- Key Indicators:
- You turn to friends or family before your partner for serious emotional support.
- Your daily conversations are purely transactional (chores, bills, logistics) and lack any meaningful depth.
- They rarely celebrate your successes or validate your difficult feelings.
5. E – Endless Cycles: Stuck in a Toxic Loop
You break up, you get back together. You argue about the same fundamental issue every single week. The relationship feels less like a journey toward a shared goal and more like a never-ending merry-go-round of tension and resentment. If you’ve tried to fix the pattern multiple times without success, the pattern itself is the problem.
- Key Indicators:
- You keep recycling the same arguments without ever achieving a lasting resolution.
- The “honeymoon phase” only lasts a week after a major fight or reconciliation, then resets to tension.
- One or both of you have given up on trying to change or address the core issues.
6. S – Silence and Solitude: You Prefer Being Alone
This is a powerful, gut-check S.I.G.N. You start finding excuses to stay late at work, take long showers, or hide out with a book—anything to avoid spending time with your partner. Your sense of peace, relief, and relaxation is markedly higher when they’re not around. When solitude feels more comforting than connection, it’s a clear message.
- Key Indicators:
- You feel consistently drained rather than energised after spending quality time together.
- You actively avoid initiating sex, affection, or even simple conversation.
- You find yourself increasingly fantasising about a life without them, not just a life with improvements.
Stop the Guessing Game: Get Your Personalised Verdict Today
Reading these S.I.G.N.S. can bring both relief and panic. Maybe you checked every box and feel a profound wave of confirmation, or maybe only one or two, leaving you even more confused. The truth is, a deep, honest self-assessment is the only way to move forward. But how do you turn this complex emotional data into a clear, actionable path?
Don’t let indecision paralyse you. The next step is a structured, objective evaluation. Roslyn’s comprehensive Should We Break Up Quiz is designed to take you through the most critical, often-missed questions to provide the clarity you need right now, based on your unique situation. It’s the definitive tool for moving from confusion to conviction.
🔥 Take Action Now: Stop running in circles. Get the definitive answer you’ve been searching for. Click Here to take Roslyn’s “Should We Break Up Quiz” and find your clarity today!
What Happens After the Quiz? Your Path Forward
Whether the quiz confirms your worst doubts or gives you unexpected hope, the result is a starting point—a new direction. It’s an objective truth to help you initiate an honest conversation with your partner, seek professional help with a shared goal, or finally close the chapter with confidence and peace. Clarity is a gift, and it’s time to give it to yourself.
Click here to take the quiz now and get the clarity you deserve:- Should I Break Up With My Partner Quiz
Following the quiz, I offer a free discovery call to discuss your results and explore how my coaching services—covering Codependency Coaching, Addiction Recovery Coaching, and Psychosocial Coaching—can help you rewrite your relationship story. You deserve a connection that uplifts you, not one that diminishes you.
✨ Your Call to Action:
Book your Free 20-Minute Discovery Call today. Let’s explore your unique situation and map out your personalised path. There’s absolutely no obligation—just a safe space to discuss how we can work together to transform your life.
Warm Regards,
Roslyn Saunders
Your Codependency and Addiction Recovery Coach (NDIS Provider)