When Love Isn’t Enough
G’day, it’s Roslyn Saunders here, your Codependency and Recovery Coach. I often speak with folks who are caught in the painful bind of loving someone deeply while watching addiction take hold. It’s a uniquely heartbreaking situation, and if you’re reading this, you likely understand that all too well. Breaking up with an addict you love can be one of the hardest decisions you will ever make.
You love them, fiercely. You see the good in them, the person they are beneath the addiction. You’ve probably weathered countless storms, offered unwavering support, and maybe even made sacrifices you never thought you would. But somewhere along the line, the lines have blurred. You might be feeling responsible for their well-being, constantly walking on eggshells, or even neglecting your own needs in the hope that your love will be enough to pull them through.
Let me be clear: addiction is a powerful force. While your love is undoubtedly important, it cannot, on its own, cure addiction. In fact, sometimes, staying in a relationship with an active addict can inadvertently enable their behaviour, trapping both of you in a cycle of pain and despair.
The decision to break up with someone you love is never easy, and when addiction is involved, it’s often laced with guilt, fear, and a profound sense of loss. You might worry about what will happen to them, fearing that without you, they’ll spiral further. These are valid concerns, and it’s important to acknowledge the depth of your emotions.
However, you also need to consider the impact this relationship is having on you. Are you constantly stressed, anxious, or emotionally drained? Are your own dreams and goals being put on hold? Are you isolating yourself from friends and family? These are all signs that the relationship is taking a significant toll on your well-being.
It’s crucial to remember that you are not responsible for your partner’s addiction or their recovery. You can offer support and encouragement, but ultimately, the decision to seek help and make changes rests with them. You deserve to live a life free from the chaos and uncertainty that addiction brings.
Making the decision to leave is incredibly difficult, and it’s okay to feel conflicted. You might find yourself going back and forth, second-guessing your instincts. This is where gaining clarity can be incredibly helpful.
If you’re grappling with this tough decision and wondering if it’s time to prioritise your own well-being, I encourage you to take a step towards clarity. Our “Should We Break Up Quiz” is designed to help you reflect on your relationship dynamics and understand your own needs better. It can provide a confidential space for you to consider the difficult questions and gain a clearer perspective on what’s best for you in the long run.
Click here to take the “Should We Break Up Quiz” and begin exploring what a healthier future might look like for you. Remember, you deserve happiness and peace, and sometimes, loving someone means letting them go so you can both have a chance at healing.
Ready to find out if codependency is affecting your life and relationships? Take my Codependency Quiz to gain some clarity and take the first step towards a healthier you.
www.roslynsaunders.au or call me directly at +61 439 339 166.
Book a confidential, free 20-minute chat with me today. Let’s talk about you.
Warmly,
Roslyn Saunders
Addiction & Recovery Coach
Registered NDIS Provider (Psychosocial Recovery Coaching)
Member of the International Institute for Complementary Therapists (IICT)
