In relationships, we all want to feel close and connected to our partner. However, there’s a fine line between a healthy bond and a dependence that can become unhealthy. Do you find yourself constantly needing reassurance, or feeling anxious when you’re not with your partner? You might be mistaking clinginess for love, and that can be a sign of codependency.
The Problem with Clinginess
Clinginess is more than just wanting to spend time with your loved one. It’s often rooted in a deeper fear of abandonment or a lack of self-worth. When you’re constantly seeking validation from another person, you’re essentially handing over your happiness and self-esteem to them. This puts immense pressure on the relationship and can stifle both your personal growth and your partner’s.
A truly healthy partnership is built on two whole people coming together, not two halves trying to make a whole. When you are clingy, you may find yourself:
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Feeling anxious or panicky when your partner is not with you.
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Checking in on them constantly throughout the day.
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Sacrificing your own interests, friends, or hobbies to be with them.
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Becoming overly jealous or possessive.
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Putting your partner’s needs before your own, to the point of self-neglect.
From Clingy to Codependent
Codependency takes clinginess a step further. It’s a behavioural condition where a person relies on others for their sense of self-worth and identity. The relationship becomes a crutch, and you might feel responsible for your partner’s emotions, choices, and even their happiness.
This dynamic is not sustainable. It can lead to resentment, emotional exhaustion, and an unbalanced relationship where one person is doing all the giving and the other all the taking. You deserve a relationship where you are valued for who you are, not for how much you do for someone else.
The good news is that you can change this dynamic. The first step is to realise that your happiness is your own responsibility. When you develop a strong sense of self, you will feel more secure and confident on your own. This, in turn, allows for a more fulfilling and equitable relationship.
Is Your Clinginess a Sign of Codependency?
If you’ve read this far and are starting to recognise some of these patterns in your own life, it’s time to take the next step. Understanding is the first part of recovery.
I’ve created a comprehensive codependency quiz to help you uncover your behavioural patterns and determine if you are struggling with codependency. It’s a valuable tool to start your journey towards healthier relationships.
Ready to find out if codependency is affecting your life and relationships? Take my Codependency Quiz to gain some clarity and take the first step towards a healthier you.
www.roslynsaunders.au or call me directly at +61 439 339 166.
Book a confidential, free 20-minute chat with me today. Let’s talk about you.
Warmly,
Roslyn Saunders
Addiction & Recovery Coach
Registered NDIS Provider (Psychosocial Recovery Coaching)
Member of the International Institute for Complementary Therapists (IICT)
