Hi everyone, it’s Roslyn Saunders, your codependency specialist. Today’s topic is three reasons why we abandon ourselves to hold people in our lives. We’ve all experienced versions of this; it was how I lived my whole life, constantly trying to hold onto people for fear of losing them. The first reason is that we justify and rationalize their behavior to avoid ending toxic relationships, whether they’re friendships, business relationships, or employment situations. We make excuses and pretend not to be affected by the toxicity, but it always takes a toll on our well-being.
Seeking support from someone who understands can help us navigate these situations and see the harm we’re doing to ourselves.
Secondly, we give away pieces of ourselves, hoping that by sacrificing more, the other person will recognise our worth. However, this attachment to outcomes only leads to disappointment and resentment. It’s essential to recognise when we’re not receiving a fair exchange of energy and to set boundaries accordingly.
Lastly, we may change ourselves to fit the mold of what we think the other person wants, becoming a chameleon to avoid rejection. This behavior erodes our authenticity and self-worth.
Observing ourselves, acknowledging our feelings, and seeking support to set and maintain boundaries are crucial steps in breaking free from codependency patterns. Remember never to set boundaries we can’t uphold, as consistency is key in earning respect and establishing healthier relationships. Thank you for listening, and I hope this insight helps you on your journey.
